Zoe.Life.

I can’t believe Zoe is a week old. This week has brought so many emotions and change.  I can’t explain so much of it.  I have had definite moments of, “I have no idea what I am doing!!!” but at the same time “I love learning how to be a mom to Zoe”  I love everything.  I love getting to see Allen be a daddy. I love seeing her open her eyes and listen to us talk to her.  I love putting her close to my chest and cuddling with her.  I love seeing people’s faces light up as they hold her.  I love laughing at her funny noises.  I love playing the trial and error game, especially at 2 am!!! I love seeing my mom and mom-in-law get excited every second!! And the list goes on!

Zoe’s room is ready!!!

Allen and I have had so much fun preparing Zoe’s nursery.  Allen did an amazing job drawing and painting a mural for her room.  She will be so proud of her daddy!! We are getting really excited for her to be here, I will be going in the hospital 2 weeks from Monday, wow, that is so soon.  As of right now she weighs approx. 6 lbs and has a head full of hair!!! Praise God, what a little miracle.

Thanks to everyone who has already spoiled her with so many things and for your help getting ready for her.  We would definitely appreciate your prayers as we get closer to the big day.  That everything would continue to go smoothly, and we would trust God completely.  We both have definitely been experiencing all sorts of emotions.  Some grieving, missing the other six, some fear of all that is to come and that all will be ok, and just a mixture of things (prob some of my crazy hormones!)  But God continues to take us step by step and gives us way more than we deserve, so thankful for His grace.

Glory.

Before the world was made
Before you spoke it to be
You were the King of Kings
Yeah you were, yeah you were
And now you’re reigning still
Enthroned above all things
Angels and saints cry out
We join them as we sing
CHORUS:
Glory to God, Glory to God
Glory to God, Forever
Glory to God, Glory to God
Glory to God, Forever
Creator God you gave me breath so I could praise
Your great and matchless name
All my days, all my days
So let my whole life be
A blazing offering
A life that shouts and sings
The greatness of the King
CHORUS:
Glory to God, Glory to God
Glory to God, Forever
Glory to God, Glory to God
Glory to God, Forever
Take my life and let it be
All for you and for your glory
Take my life and let it be yours
Take my life and let it be
All for you and for your glory
Take my life and let it be yours 

This is my prayer, Glory to God, no matter what.  No matter how I feel.  I desperately want all details of my life to bring glory to God.  Man, it can be so distracting to have bunches of feelings in the way.  One of our best friends spoke a lot of truth last nite at the gathering into truth vs. feelings.  It is helping me to mesh through things I wrestle with.  You can take a look at www.midtowncolumbia.com if you want to listen to the podcast.  As we get closer to having Zoe, I have been working through some different emotions/feelings.  I have not refocused to scripture/truth everytime.  I definitely question what is ok to feel, and if I am responding right.  Especially when thinking about some of the tougher things we’ve experienced with balancing the new great things in the making.  With that said, Lord, take my life and let it be all for you and for your glory!

Moving Blessing!

Just wanted to share this really quickly. God is teaching me a ton through us moving houses.  So we officially moved this weekend, and it really was incredible the amount of help we had throughout the weekend.  God has blessed us way more than we deserve with the community/family around us.  I will be honest, it is really hard for me not to be able to pick up boxes and be doing lots of the moving, but there was no need everyone was pitching in and doing everything.  I was overwhelmed.  Also, through the weekend, I have been realizing how God has us exactly where he wants us to be, in our  neighborhood, on our street, in our house, and all we have to do is be obedient.  My confession is I definitely can be a “doer” and having people helping so much and also just realizing there is no need to stress, I have been very at ease and enjoying this new little step in the journey!!

Here is little Zoe!

“Newness”

Eeks…sorry it has been almost a month since I have posted anything!  We have been in between houses for about a month now, living with our friend Denise.  She has been so great to let us stay at her place until our house is ready!  But the big day is Friday, we will be closing on our house this friday!! Yippee, we are very excited.  Looking forward to this new little stage of life.  It has been a neat time for Allen and I to really grow closer and closer together making bigger decisions together and really just gettting excited about things together.  We pray our new house will be a place God has designed to welcome people around us in to and a place for new things to start.  Please come visit us!

Everything is going well with baby Zoe, now closer to 6 1/2 months, it is really starting to go by fast.  Everytime she moves is such a huge encouragement!  Just trying to rest a good bit, and trying to prepare my heart for the changes ahead.  I am very very excited…especially as each week passes and gets closer to her being here.

I have been reflecting some lately and seeing different ways my heart was a year ago and now, and what God has been revealing and teaching me.  There has been conversations with other moms that have lost babies that I find them saying things that I said and seeing what it looks like to talk and encourage at this point verses in the middle of grief.  I feel like God is showing me a whole different side of hope and what that looks like.  The way he shows truth over and over again keeps me going.  There are still times of question of why we lost six children but He  shows where He is getting glory through it all, and lives are changed.  So thankful for that!

23 weeks!!

I know some of you may be wondering what I mean when I say, 23 weeks as the title…tomorrow I will official be 23 weeks along with little baby Zoe.  Zoe, in scripture, means “life.”  Allen and I felt like this was perfect for her, and what God has done and continues to do.  I will write more about her name later.

23 weeks is a huge mile marker because when I was pregnant with the sextuplets I never made it that far.  I have started to feel her move a whole lot, and just this week Allen got to feel her kicking, which is something else we never experienced because there were too many for them to move around.  I go back to the doctor in a couple of weeks and look forward to seeing how she is growing and developing.  Gosh, I am so undeserving of such a blessing, but I am really getting so pumped to be a mom and love on this little girl.

I also finally put some flowers on the babies grave marker, this still feels pretty surreal, but reminds me of God’s hope so so much.

Lastly, we close on our house tomorrow that we’ve lived in for 5 years, which I can’t believe it has been that long, but ready to move on to the next chapter.

Precious friends!

So these are just a few pictures of the Masche family, who moved from Arizona to Destin, Florida right after Christmas.  My mom and I went out to visit them back in April, so sorry it took so long to get pictures up.  This is Bailey, Savannah, Molli, Grant, Blake, and Cole.  Jenny, the mom, is very near and dear to my heart, I appreciate her a ton, and look up to her a ton. She is an amazing mom and has been such an encouragement to me.

Life Updates.

So I have been slack lately with writing on the blog, May was quite the world wind…but I am so excited for summer, and to be on a break from work…Schools out for summer!!!  I hope everyone has some fun getaways planned for the summer, we will have a little beach time at the end of june.

Here is what’s new…

• For those of you that don’t know, we have named our little baby girl “Zoe Elizabeth”-I will explain more about the meaning of her name soon!  Everything is going well with her, I am a little over 5 months along, and will be induced September 20th (of course could change!)  A lot of the time I feel like things are going by so fast, I think it is because we have been busy, but I want to continue to enjoy things.

• Some of you knew we were putting our house up for sale to be able to move into downtown Columbia.  Well, we put our house on the market with the help of an awesome realtor, Jason Compton, and within 6 days we had a contract!!!!God was on the move for us selling the house for sure!  I had no idea it would sell that fast!  So pretty quickly we started looking at houses, because we close on our house June 18 (yes, less than 2 weeks from now!!)  Allen and I quickly realized our individual tastes, I like the newer, he likes the older.  Well guess what?  We found a house, and it is a very old house that has been completely gutted and is being redone, and we close on it July 16th!  Allen and I keep telling ourselves how quickly this stuff is happening!  We graciously had special friends to come last weekend and move some stuff for us, and we were gone, and didn’t even now they were doing it!! What a sweet surprise, we were so so thankful.  We also have some folks letting us “house sit” for them during the weeks we are without either house!!Thank You!

We are looking forward to having people over once we move in the new house.  I will try to write on here more, we will see!

“worthy”

I wanted to share something this weekend, and I have been torn how to best explain what I want to get across…but here it goes!!  If you get a chance, glance back at the post I did last May, it is titled “Reality.”  For two reasons, one to refer you to a great entry on another friend’s blog, and also to see how God has worked in specific ways to bring me to where I am now (which is so helpful for me to look back and reflect on).  This doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle, I don’t get sad, I don’t need constant strength from our God everyday.  Mother’s Day brings up lot of different emotions, one thing that is more apparent to me is I am worthy to be called a mom this mother’s day.  A year ago, not at all.  But at the same, our worth is 1st and most imporantly, in our Lord, who weeps with us, and rejoices with us always.  My friend, Lindsey sent me this song, that is so perfect and describes things well…and helps in what I want to share next.  The song is called “Running in Circles” by United Pursuit.

I’m so forgetful, but You always remind me

You’re the only one who brings me peace

You’re the only one who brings me peace

So I come, Lord I come

I come, Lord I come

To tell you I love you

To tell you I need you

To tell you there’s no better place for me than in your arms

To tell you I’m sorry

For running in circles

For placing my focus on the waves, not on your face

You’re the only one who brings me peace

You’re the only one who brings me peace

Bridge:

In the storm

In the storm

This is specifically for those of you who I know whose hearts are torn, healing, and changed especially at Mother’s Day.  Just to name a few, this is for…Heather, Erica, Sara, Sara, Liz, Sammy, Heather, Molly, Brianna, Rebecca, Lauren, Alison, Wendy, Dee, and many many more.  Some of you are in the depths of grief from losing a child just weeks ago, some of you are expecting currently, some of you have children but for sure never forget the ones you’ve lost, you are my heroes, know you are loved much!  I can say nothing that will take the sting away.  I just encourage you to share your story with someone, do something to treat yourself, and let others love on you.  I pray God will continue to strengthen you and give you peace.

Mom, this is for you, thank you for your unconditional love and all you do for me.  Thank you for celebrating with me in the great things, and crying with the tough things.  Thank you for your wisdom and perseverance, even when it is not easy at all.  Thank you for helping me no matter what it looks like.  Thank you and I love you…I don’t tell you enough! I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day!!