“worthy”
I wanted to share something this weekend, and I have been torn how to best explain what I want to get across…but here it goes!! If you get a chance, glance back at the post I did last May, it is titled “Reality.” For two reasons, one to refer you to a great entry on another friend’s blog, and also to see how God has worked in specific ways to bring me to where I am now (which is so helpful for me to look back and reflect on). This doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle, I don’t get sad, I don’t need constant strength from our God everyday. Mother’s Day brings up lot of different emotions, one thing that is more apparent to me is I am worthy to be called a mom this mother’s day. A year ago, not at all. But at the same, our worth is 1st and most imporantly, in our Lord, who weeps with us, and rejoices with us always. My friend, Lindsey sent me this song, that is so perfect and describes things well…and helps in what I want to share next. The song is called “Running in Circles” by United Pursuit.
I’m so forgetful, but You always remind me
You’re the only one who brings me peace
You’re the only one who brings me peace
So I come, Lord I come
I come, Lord I come
To tell you I love you
To tell you I need you
To tell you there’s no better place for me than in your arms
To tell you I’m sorry
For running in circles
For placing my focus on the waves, not on your face
You’re the only one who brings me peace
You’re the only one who brings me peace
Bridge:
In the storm
In the storm
This is specifically for those of you who I know whose hearts are torn, healing, and changed especially at Mother’s Day. Just to name a few, this is for…Heather, Erica, Sara, Sara, Liz, Sammy, Heather, Molly, Brianna, Rebecca, Lauren, Alison, Wendy, Dee, and many many more. Some of you are in the depths of grief from losing a child just weeks ago, some of you are expecting currently, some of you have children but for sure never forget the ones you’ve lost, you are my heroes, know you are loved much! I can say nothing that will take the sting away. I just encourage you to share your story with someone, do something to treat yourself, and let others love on you. I pray God will continue to strengthen you and give you peace.
Mom, this is for you, thank you for your unconditional love and all you do for me. Thank you for celebrating with me in the great things, and crying with the tough things. Thank you for your wisdom and perseverance, even when it is not easy at all. Thank you for helping me no matter what it looks like. Thank you and I love you…I don’t tell you enough! I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day!!
I didn’t sign up for this “club”
Last Tuesday afternoon started off with a sweet hospital visit to one of the Hispanic families I work with who just had twins at 29 weeks. The babies and family are doing fine. It was special getting to spend time loving on this family, especially since they don’t have many family members here, and were eager to share pictures and tell their story.
As I walked from the Baby Floor to another part of the hospital, my heart and brain were switching gears into a very different mode. I was making my way to the “We Remember” support group. The group is a mixture of those who have lost babies through stillbirth, miscarriages, etc. I have been going periodically to the group over the last year, and it has been a huge help for me. But I have had many conversations with others in the group and one of the main things we all have voiced is…I didn’t sign up for this “club,” I never thought I would be in this “club,” I am not excited to join/be in this “club”!! These are all statements we try to even talk ourselves out of the reality you don’t want to be in sometimes.
I mentioned all of that above, before sharing what a blessing the support group is and the experience that is happening now. It has been a safe place to say all the crazy things you are thinking, but really everyone else in the room is too! Through this group, we have now started to meet earlier before the meetings just to have dinner together. It is so neat how God has put all this together. The hurts are all different, the experiences all different, the grieving all different…all these things unique…but somehow we are all able to love on each other and heal together. Thank you Lord for this group.
I also wanted to talk about this because since being pregnant I have been hesitant on whether I should go back, I don’t want to cause others extra pain. But I think this last time was confirmation that God is using that time in big ways. One of the big things is meeting people where they are at whether they lost a baby 2 weeks ago or 5 years ago- and listening and empathizing from that point on. So even though I didn’t sign up for this “club” I am glad I can do it with these folks, and see God working through it all.
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