beautiful mess.
Sorry I haven’t posted pics from Florida, I will try, there are some precious ones of the kids. So here goes really honest to the heart Courtney…which I have not been so great at doing lately. Not just blogging, but even just journaling and being refueled with the word has been lacking lately.
Beautiful…well I couldn’t be more excited to tell you that we are going to be having a baby girl! We found out on Friday at the end of a procedure I had done called a circlage, which will hopefully support my cervix for the remainder of pregnancy. This brought so much realness and beauty to being pregnant and carrying this precious little thing inside of me. Allen melted my heart as he walked in the house on Saturday with an adorable white dress with butterflies on it…his words were “I guess daddy needs to be the first one to buy her little girl a dress!” God is taking care of us in so many ways, and I pray daily that we would bring Glory to Him, whether beautiful or messy.
Mess…So Friday was the first time Allen had been back to Richland Hospital since we lost the babies, and the first time I was having anything done there. We were so well taken cared of, and I felt very at peace. A very precious nurse, Tresa, came in and took care of me, even though she wasn’t suppose to work that day. I saw many familiar faces just peeking there head in to make sure we were doing ok and that they were excited for us. This was all just a little heavy because of past memories, but at the same time making new sweet memories, and trusting God. After my procedure they needed to check the heartbeat with the doppler to make sure all was safe with the baby, and they couldn’t find a heartbeat…this was really scary!! But they quickly did an ultrasound and all was ok, whew!
I feel more of a mess today, as I let out some tears this morning, just being scared and unsure all is going to be ok…but also confessing to God…I am not fully trusting you and I want to! I don’t let out emotions enough, but definitely felt torn apart in ways this morning.
I say all this for you to see more into my heart, and know I don’t have it all together. Most of the time a beautiful mess.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throan of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:15-16
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This week has been my spring break!!! Wow, it has been great so far, and so thankful for the time off.
Last Friday, at the crack of dawn, my mom and I headed out on an adventure to Destin, Florida to see some really special friends, the Masche Family. For those of you who have kept up with the blog for a while, I have mentioned them a good bit. Jenny has sextuplets that will be 3 in June. I was super excited for mom to meet them and get to hang out with their family. We got to do some really fun things with them…just to name a few…taking the 3 boys to get haircuts…we all went to the Good Friday service at their church…beach fun with six little ones…amazing easter egg hunt with the kids, and them eating everything they opened out of their easter eggs…fun girl outing with the 3 girls to get groceries and shoes…all six on bikes…and so much more- I will post pictures soon!
Mom and I also had some great little outings to some yummy restuarants and we did a little shopping. We had fun sharing little things that we had done with the kids, and of course giggled a lot. The beaches and houses in Destin, and surrounding beaches were just amazing, mom and I both were pretty blown away with how nice everything was.
I got to have a few good conversations with Jenny, mostly driving places, because otherwise it is pretty chaotic. I look up to her a whole lot, and I am so thankful, God somehow has allowed us to be good friends even though we have crazy different stories. I would ask that you pray for her and her family. She is working a whole lot right now, which is draining and hard to not be with the kids, so just peace and perseverence there. For Bryan, her husband, because he is home with the kids a lot, and just that he would have energy. For the m to continue to have help and new encouraging friends, they have only been there from Arizona since January. They don’t have any family there, so that makes it hard. And just that God would give them direction as a family.
I hope everyone was able to reflect on our Savior at Easter, thank you Jesus. Blessed be His Name!
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