The Tipping Family

A pre-warning I apologize if this sounds selfish, these are just a few deeper things that have been stirring in my heart that I wish were different and stuff.

• I wish that all six babies were here with us
• I wish I could see them growing and having milestones like eating new things, crawling, laughing, mumbling, etc.
• I wish I could relate to mom’s the way I thought I would a year ago
• I wish people didn’t act awkward at times with talking about the babies
• I wish I was pregnant
• I wish I was a mom
• and as time gets closer I wish it wasn’t creeping up on a year since everything happened (March) and I could rewind time.

The amazing thing in all this is God is still a huge God full of grace and love, and I cling to that daily.

• All six babies are with Jesus, in Heaven!
• Hopefully, God can use our story to be able to relate and love on others who are hurting, and especially those who have lost children
• It is never awkward when I pour out my heart to Jesus
• God’s timing is perfect
• God knows the desire of my heart
• Approaching March, this is my heavy, focused prayer…whether it fertility, whether it adoption…or whether neither right at this time, that I would be content.  Content in the Lord.

Just wanted to share these things straight from the heart, with not much fluff.  I will update the blog soon with some of the adventures Allen and I have been on in the last few weeks (Colorado trip) and other things.

I just wanted to share with those of you that read the blog about a special lady I got to hang out with on Friday.  Her name is Maria Owens, and she is one of those people that when you are around her you see Jesus in her constantly.  It is kind of neat how God works, when I was in college Maria spoke at one of our women’s retreats, and shared her testimony, and really just encouraged us over a weekend…and I had not seen her or anything since then which was about 7 or 8 years ago!! But, Kristi actually works with her husband, and she had invited me a few months back to go hear Maria speak at Spring Valley Baptist, and I was super excited because I remembered her from way back!!! Maria has a website you can look up, www.mariaowens.org/bio, if you are interested in her coming to speak or share by the way.  Her testimony is incredible, and neat to see Jesus working amidst crazy circumstances. So anyway, we got together Friday, and Maria was such a blessing to me, she asked the hard questions, listened to me sharing about our babies, encouraged me, cried with me, prayed with me-Thank You Maria.  She also shared with me more of her journey and how God had used things along the way, that was very inspiring.  God, thank you for allowing this special time with Maria, and using her to speak truth into my life.

I have been in Edisto this past week, and Allen and I had a great time bringing in the New Year with his family.  His mom had gotten 1,000 glow sticks that we made a complete Mario Brothers scene with (because we have played Wii Mario all week!) Then we all watched the ball drop and had breakfast right after midnight and shared more roses and thorns. I hope everyone had fun celebrating the New Year-if you did something different this year or something crazy happened please comment and let me know!!

My thoughts are a little scattered right now…and a little bit broken feeling right now, but also I am so encouraged and ready for the new year, and continue to trust in Ephesians 3:14-21 (this version is The Message), which says:

^14-19My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.  ^20-21God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

I am pretty sure the part I bolded means I should never doubt the God we serve, and wow that really hits hard.  I think I sometimes forget and deny how big and powerful our God is. Throughout most of the last two weeks Allen and I have been around people and staying pretty busy, and we will be traveling home tomorrow, and I am definitely starting to reflect a lot more. I pray I don’t put a shield over my eyes to be able to see what God is teaching and pushing me towards. I will try to continue to share more.