The Tipping FamilyRedefining Normal

There are so many people that went above and beyond for me and my family during a time of craziness.  I want to write something special about each one of you!  These two ladies mean a whole bunch to me.  Kim and Laura are both from my home town of Fountain Inn, and have been like big sisters/great friends for a long time to me!  They each have families of their own that keep them busy, but during a time I wanted them around they didn’t hesitate.

While I was in the hosptial, there was a day that I really wanted them to be there with me.  Which was a little harder for them to even work out, to drive an hour and a half to Columbia to be with me for the day.  But that didn’t matter they dropped everything they were doing and came.  Kim and Laura sat with me for the day , just really taking care of me and loving on our family.  It meant a lot to me that they were there!  I remember them reading scripture and just helping me to stay comfortable!  In last few months I have continued to be very encouraged by these ladies…Thank You…I love you guys!

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone:  my hope comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation;he is my fortress.  I will not be shaken.  My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.  Trust in him at all times.  O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”  Psalm 62:5-8

I was reading this today and realized how much we need rest all around.  For those of you that know me well, I do not like to rest. Allen tends to call me an energizer bunny until the batteries wear down I go and go, and then I crash!  But more so than that, I have to truely cling to God is Hope, and he is my strength.  When our hope continue on in people, circumstances, and all sorts of things, we for sure become empty quicker than we even realize.  I pray that we will all be more aware of how much we need God, and need to come to Him continuously, and not taking anything for granted. 

Everyday these days bring so many emotions and different thoughts, I need Jesus every step of the way.  There are times I really am not sure what my mind is thinking about, it just seems really cluttered with everything and then there are days that I think about one thing specifically and can’t go anywhere else too easily…I am not sure if that makes much sense?? 

…a few updates

• My friend Brook had a beautiful 9 pounder, Benjamin David, on Friday and she is doing great!
• Allen is pack home from California, and had a great time with the family! He also brought me back some fun surprises, he always spoils me!
• My mom cam in to town for a few days, which was great to have her around, and we took a little day trip to Charleston, which was great!
• No news from doctor yet…just kind of waiting as far as HCG goes on what to do next.

• My appointment Monday went well.  The ultrasound of my uterus looked a lot better, Dr. Gregg was really pleased with that.  Although, I did get back the results from the blood work to check my HCG yesterday, and it has not gone down.  I will have to go back until it reaches 0, so we will see what the next step is.
• Allen left for San Fransisco this morning for Becka’s graduation (his sister). She will be graduating with her doctorate in Art History.  This is huge for her, we are so proud of her.  I am glad he got to take a little trip to get away and be with the family.
• Please pray for my friend Brook, she is having a c-section on Friday to deliver her baby boy (they haven’t picked a name quite yet!)
• Please pray for my friend, Kelly, she was 39 weeks last week, and went into the doctor after not feeling the baby move, and there was no heartbeat. She was induced and delivered a stillborn baby on Friday afternoon. My heart breaks for her loss!
• I will post another Blessing very soon!

As I said previously, I want to start sharing with you guys some people from along this journey who have been a reflection of Jesus in many different ways.

Tresa was my nurse in Labor and Delivery twice.  She was with us early on when I first went in the hospital, and was actually there on a better day, but I could tell she had a different way of caring for her patients.  She was extremely caring and went above and beyond what she had to make sure I was okay, and that our family was being taken cared of.  Then, Tresa was there during the time when I delivered the last four babies, and throughout that Sunday.  I truely think God placed her in that position, that time frame, because He knew what we needed.  That time was quite a nightmare, not knowing what all was going to happen, she helped keep me as calm as possible.  As things progressed, and I lost the last four babies, Tresa began talking to me about having someone come in to take pictures of the babies.  At first, I wasn’t really sure about all of that, wasn’t really prepared, but so thankful that she encouraged me.  I would not take anything for those pictures now.  She arranged all of the details for the people to come that afternoon.  I remember Tresa constantly coming in to check on me, and not wanting to have to be away from us too long.  I was comfortable when she was around.  I also know she stayed way over her time to do paperwork, so that she could be with me as long as possible.  Tresa took very good care of all the babies.  In the last couple of weeks, I have had the priviledge of getting to meet up with her.  That has been wonderful, being able to ask her questions, and chat with someone who has an understanding!

Thank you Tresa for being a huge blessing in my life and making a difference during such a hard time.  It is neat to know we have a friendship through crazy circumstances, but I am thankful for you!

***I do have a doctor’s appointmet today, please pray for a good report, as I will be doing an ultrasound and blood work. Thanks!

As I write this little post today, just want you to know I am hurting a good bit, and just feel a little weak.  The way I try to make sense of how my heart feels right now, is knowing the process of everything will take time, but at the same time feeling like my mind is more cluttered with all kinds of things that get me upset.  I just want to be honest with you. Whether it be thinking about what to put on the babies marker at the cemetary to just  missing be pregnant and having the kids here…it gets me in the gut.  But please don’t get me wrong, I see God more clearly and His love for me more clearly than I ever have…and he know our hurts, and he hurts with us. Like I have said before He is strong when we are weak.  And I don’t doubt one bit that He is going to show me and Allen huge things!  This is reality!

 Honestly, I wanted Sunday to go by really fast, yet wanting to honoring those whomean a lot to me. As strongly as it may sound, I didn’t feel worthy of being called “mom” at this point.  I know I will someday down the road, because I know God is not taking away that desire of my heart. Kristi sent me this blog from John Piper’s daughter-in-law, and it made so much sense to me, maybe it will to some of you( http://thepipers.wordpress.com/2009/05/09/do-you-want-to-die-this-mothers-day/) the title is pretty strong.

I thank God for the people He puts around us constantly,the ones that push us along, and tell us everything is going to be okay!  In some of the next posts, I would like to tell you about some of them who have been reflections of Jesus, and are special to me…

Do you ever have the feeling when you step on the sand at the beach, or when you start up a trail in the mountains that you are so small in comparison to God’s amazing beauty and perfection?  I feel like I need to be reminded of this constantly.  This weekend was a great time for me to reflect on this.  Allen and I went with some friends up to the mountains for the weekend.  I actually have never been camping, so this was a great new experience for me.  From the time we started heading towards our campsite being guided by the moonlight, God’s “hugeness” was all around us.  On Saturday we did a hike to the top of the mountain, which was beautiful, and we could see all over N.C.  Then we went to Turtleback Falls where everybody slid down the rocks into some icy cold water, but super fun!  Then onto a delicious dinner made by our friend Martin ( i didn’t know we could eat that well while camping! ) Sunday morning we enjoyed a great little worship service out in the woods, and then packed up to come home! 

Allen and I stopped by to see my mom at my aunt’s house and ate some lunch with his family to see them for Mother’s Day, and then back to Columbia…I will post some more later on thoughts from Mother’s Day.

“Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

This verse really stuck out to me as I was reading some scripture today, it reminds me that God has His arms wrapped around us, and is helping me to PRESS ON in every moment, even when it is tough

Yesterday, would have been 28 weeks for me in my pregnancy.  From the time I started seeing our high risk doctor, Dr. Gregg, that was his goal, and what we had our eyes focused on.  I am not usually a dates or numbers person, but being pregnant made you think this way.  At 28 weeks, the babies chance of survival would have gone from 40 to 50% to 90%…so close yet really far away.  As I thought about this yesterday, it has been 7 weeks since I delivered the last babies.  In one breath I think we were so close, because it seems like everything just happened a week ago, and then in another breath it seems like how would have ever made it this long!

Thank you God for putting people around me constantly to encourage and push me towards you. Thank you God for loving me, and caring about me.  Thank you God for a servant husband.  Thank you God for my family.  Thank you God for unexpected blessings.  I will praise you even when I am weak.  I miss being pregnant, I miss our babies, but I will press on…