beautiful mess.
Sorry I haven’t posted pics from Florida, I will try, there are some precious ones of the kids. So here goes really honest to the heart Courtney…which I have not been so great at doing lately. Not just blogging, but even just journaling and being refueled with the word has been lacking lately.
Beautiful…well I couldn’t be more excited to tell you that we are going to be having a baby girl! We found out on Friday at the end of a procedure I had done called a circlage, which will hopefully support my cervix for the remainder of pregnancy. This brought so much realness and beauty to being pregnant and carrying this precious little thing inside of me. Allen melted my heart as he walked in the house on Saturday with an adorable white dress with butterflies on it…his words were “I guess daddy needs to be the first one to buy her little girl a dress!” God is taking care of us in so many ways, and I pray daily that we would bring Glory to Him, whether beautiful or messy.
Mess…So Friday was the first time Allen had been back to Richland Hospital since we lost the babies, and the first time I was having anything done there. We were so well taken cared of, and I felt very at peace. A very precious nurse, Tresa, came in and took care of me, even though she wasn’t suppose to work that day. I saw many familiar faces just peeking there head in to make sure we were doing ok and that they were excited for us. This was all just a little heavy because of past memories, but at the same time making new sweet memories, and trusting God. After my procedure they needed to check the heartbeat with the doppler to make sure all was safe with the baby, and they couldn’t find a heartbeat…this was really scary!! But they quickly did an ultrasound and all was ok, whew!
I feel more of a mess today, as I let out some tears this morning, just being scared and unsure all is going to be ok…but also confessing to God…I am not fully trusting you and I want to! I don’t let out emotions enough, but definitely felt torn apart in ways this morning.
I say all this for you to see more into my heart, and know I don’t have it all together. Most of the time a beautiful mess.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throan of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:15-16
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you are beautiful. and God takes care of all the mess! i love you.
I am so happy that you are doing well. Congratulations on your sweet baby girl on the way:) I know that I have not seen you in a long time but I always ask Kim Long and Peggy Farmer how you are doing. I have a eight year old daughter named Mary Grace. We are going through fertility treatments for a second baby. I just wanted to tell you that your story and strong faith is such an encouragement! Thank you for sharing! I will be praying for you! Congratulations:) Dee
I am so happy you are going to have a sweet little girl! God is truly amazing and He knows your every need! I am thankful for you having a husband who is so good and loving and kind to you! I don’t know him well at all, but I love ya girl and I have to say you are blessed! Keep smiling, and Brook is right, God does take care of the mess. Hang in there!
you are beautiful. and God takes care of all the mess! i love you.
you are beautiful. and God takes care of all the mess! i love you.
I left a comment last year. I don’t know if you remember me or not. I wrote to you because we had five miscarriages and your blog meant so much to me. I have been checking your blog over the last year. I can really identify with your feelings in your post today. We just had a healthy baby boy, but I struggled the whole pregnancy with trust. I guess I was almost scared to trust because I did not want to be let down again. Only my husband and I discussed these feelings because it sounded wrong to say I was having trouble “trusting”. I was so thankful the Lord was blessing us with another pregnancy (which is such a miracle) but so scared (even though I tried not to be)
We are so thankful for our sweet little one. I am so happy about your little blessing on the way. Praying for you and your sweet family.
I am so happy that you are doing well. Congratulations on your sweet baby girl on the way:) I know that I have not seen you in a long time but I always ask Kim Long and Peggy Farmer how you are doing. I have a eight year old daughter named Mary Grace. We are going through fertility treatments for a second baby. I just wanted to tell you that your story and strong faith is such an encouragement! Thank you for sharing! I will be praying for you! Congratulations:) Dee