Evan.

Wow, it is quite overwhelming as I have begun to write down more things about our babies, but also so revealing what God has taught us through it all and what He continually teaches us daily!  This is actually a picture of both Jacob and Evan (Evan is on the right), as they were the only identical twins.  When Jacob was born, we were sure that Evan would come immediately after, but he didn’t.  He held on for two long days, and actually turned breech to where he was horizontally across blocking any of the other babies from dropping down and me delivering them.  We were all amazed when watching any ultrasound that he was able to stay like that and that he was hanging on.  Well, once again things start going down hill, and in a bad way.  Again, I started contracting a lot more and we knew something bad was going to happen, and shortly there after his water broke, and at that time his tiny hand came out.  This was not ok because of the risk of infection to the rest of the babies and my body, as well as making it very difficult for him to deliver completely.  This was one of the most physically painful things I have ever experienced, but eventually the second doctor who tried was able to deliver him.  Evan looked a lot more battered and he had no heartbeat because of the time that had passed since his water broke was too long, it was not pleasant at all.  By this time, I am beyond tired, and very unsure of what is to come!

This was a very impactful time.  I remember thinking…I can’t do this anymore, I want to give up, I am scared of what is going to happen, are we going to leave the hospital with a baby at all, how much more can Allen and our family handle, questioning God what is going on, and so many other things were running through my mind.  I will add, I was on a very powerful drug, Magnesium, that was to slow down labor but also slows down everything else, which made me feel nothing like myself.  I was affirmed of two things…that even if we lost all 6 babies, and someone came to know the Lord through this, then it was worth it…and the other thing was God’s plan is perfect, and that through this He would do more than we could ever ask or imagine.  It was those very things that helped me to go on fighting as hard as I could for those babies.

One thing that is very special about Evan is I distinctly remember Allen holding him and praying over him, and really thanking him for being such a fighter for the rest of the babies.  Allen named him Evan because the name means “Warrior” and that is what he was.  This was such a tender time for me to witness.  I will never forget it.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (New International Version)

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

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