Jacob

Just to tell you a little bit of our experience with Jacob.  As with all of the babies, we have treasured pictures of each of them.  I am so so thankful to have these.  An organization called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep made that possible, which is linked on our blog in the margin.  Jacob was the first baby born, which was a year ago yesterday, March 10,2009.  He was one of the identical twins as well with Evan.  Throughout my pregnancy he had the hardest job of all because he was on the very bottom getting smushed most of the time.

Bare with me, this is the first time I have shared more details of things, so this may not be pretty!  After four days of being in the hospital on many different meds doing all sorts of different things to my body… I started having heavier and heavier contractions.  Some every couple of seconds, and it never seemed to let up, and I had no epidural.  At some point we were told the first baby could come at any moment.  I remember thinking in my head, what is the baby going to look like, is it going to be scary, is going to be gross, countless things went through my head.  Thankfully, Allen’s mom had much more experience with what to expect.  She began saying things to me like, you are going to hold your baby, this is probably what it’s going to look like, we will be right here with you, etc.  I was still not prepared for things that started to happen.  First, his water broke, and not long after Jacob was born, not breathing but with a slight, temporary heartbeat, but went running into the arms of Jesus.  Allen and I held Jacob, we looked at him, we spent time with him, and we tried to grieve losing him yet still have hope for the other five.  Our families and friends held him, this meant a ton to know they connected with him a little bit.  I remember being so exhausted and squinting my dazed eyes as someone was holding Jacob at the end of my hospital bed, thinking how could this be happening, but being assured God was right there with us!  I remember trying to go to sleep and I fought it so much, I was in physical and emotional pain.  I remember my time with Jacob the most in this whole experience.

Ephesians 3:16-21 (The Message)

“My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.  God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.”

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