A pre-warning I apologize if this sounds selfish, these are just a few deeper things that have been stirring in my heart that I wish were different and stuff.
- I wish that all six babies were here with us
- I wish I could see them growing and having milestones like eating new things, crawling, laughing, mumbling, etc.
- I wish I could relate to mom’s the way I thought I would a year ago
- I wish people didn’t act awkward at times with talking about the babies
- I wish I was pregnant
- I wish I was a mom
- and as time gets closer I wish it wasn’t creeping up on a year since everything happened (March) and I could rewind time.
The amazing thing in all this is God is still a huge God full of grace and love, and I cling to that daily.
- All six babies are with Jesus, in Heaven!
- Hopefully, God can use our story to be able to relate and love on others who are hurting, and especially those who have lost children
- It is never awkward when I pour out my heart to Jesus
- God’s timing is perfect
- God knows the desire of my heart
- Approaching March, this is my heavy, focused prayer…whether it fertility, whether it adoption…or whether neither right at this time, that I would be content. Content in the Lord.
Just wanted to share these things straight from the heart, with not much fluff. I will update the blog soon with some of the adventures Allen and I have been on in the last few weeks (Colorado trip) and other things.
You are such an amazing and beautiful woman. Thank you for being you, for being honest and for sharing with all of us. My prayer is still that someday our life paths and ministry paths may cross.
This is my first time to your blog. You do NOT sound selfish! I’m sorry you’re going through these things right now and I’m so so sorry about you’re 6 babies.
Thinking and praying for you.
I WISH this all for you, too. EVERY day I pray for you and Allen. I pray that your prayers are answered. I KNOW that they will be in one way or another as I have told you before. You are both AWESOME people and WILL be GREAT PARENTS! I LOVE YOU! HUGS!!!!!!!!!