Search me, O God…
Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths,you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
This passage spoke volumes to me today, as I read it… God knows us perfectly…I hurt today, a little heavier than it has been lately…but God hurts that way for us non-stop…thank you Lord for your perfect love and perfect peace!
Why do I get impatient with where life is right now? Why can’t I be content? Why am I sad? Why am I so selfish? These are a honestly a few things I am fighting with…God is present.
07/30/2009 at 11:16 am
Courtney, thanks for sharing this. I know that contentedness and satisfaction with life currently is something that I struggle with too. Sometimes, especially in the church world, you feel isolated because you think you are the only one who thinks that way. A lot of time, I think all of my Christian friends have it all together and I’m the only one who feels discontent and impatient with the way life is right now. It’s reassuring and encouraging to know that I’m not alone in that struggle. Thanks for being so open and sharing your story. You encourage me every day.
Much love!
Ashley
07/30/2009 at 11:51 am
What a beautiful passage. Thanks for sharing. Thank you for sharing God’s love even when things are hard. Your story has been a blessing to me.
07/30/2009 at 12:10 pm
what a beautiful passage. Thank you for sharing God’s love even when things are hard. Your story and strong faith has been a blessing to me.
08/04/2009 at 9:08 am
Courtney,
We continue to pray for you Allen as you guys struggle with so much that we can’t fathom. We check your blog often. We went through infertility for a few years and God gave us Grady through invitro. We will continue to pray that God’s perfect will be done in your lives and that He would give you the patience and peace you need to wait on His timing as we know it is so hard to do! My heart breaks for you.
Alise
08/06/2009 at 2:44 pm
I LOVE this Psalm…my husband and I memorized it when I was struggling after our loss and another blogger friend was doing it.
I found your blog through blog hopping. I’m so sorry to hear about your losses and pray God would continue to give you peace and strength.
08/07/2009 at 8:33 am
These verses have spoke a lot to me as well. We had a plaque made for the NICU at the hospital where my triplets passed away and we used the verse that says – all the days were ordained before one of the came to be. Even though we don’t always understand His timetable and His will, it is still perfect. I’m praying for contentment in your life as you continue through this healing process! Thank you for your honesty and for letting people be touched by your story!!